All foreign exchange students experiment a second of pain. There is a little moment when you understand that the time passed, that the things that became part of your routine are becoming to an end. This are the last times you will be doing this things, or sharing this moments. And there is nothing worst that know that you will miss a moment, when you still living it. Those are the ones I called “little last moments”, when your heart is confuse and surrounded by melancholy. It is one of the most hardest decisions to leave your family for a year, even knowing that you will come back, but it is more brave to come back home after creating a new whole life, knowing that you will never come back. And maybe you come back, but everything would be different, it will never be the same again. Your friends would be in different courses, some of them in college. The foreign students that were with you wouldn’t be there again. There is no Monday for High School. Everything changes, and for a second, you hate it.
There is a lot of things I would change about my year, it was a good and a bad experience in all senses, and now that I have only two months left, I can tell that there are things that I’m going to miss. Not only the High School, and my periods in drawing. Not only doing sports and finding new hobbies. It is the people –my host family, my friends, the other foreign exchange students, my boyfriend– the ones that I will miss the most. My eyes are full of tears when I remember that some of them are already gone. I understand you, you love how everything is right now. All is in its place, you understand the world and you feel it as yours. Almost like if you were in this skin all your live. It is hard to accept that we will come back.
All I hear is the end, everybody whispering “last”, the last. It hurts a little bit talking about a finale. Only 76 days left to be free, to be again when everything starts. And I’m too confuse to even move, or think, or write!
People that never live it can’t understand the feeling. The lose.
Because you don’t have other choice than to left all of them behind.